I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
