you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
