Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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