I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
