oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
