My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
