If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
