I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
