More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
My ass is underappreciated
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
