Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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