READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
