Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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