Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
