I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
