Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
