Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
