i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
