Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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