id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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