he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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