marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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