Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
