Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Boobs speak an international language.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
