It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The Olympian is in my bed
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
