I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
