in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
