90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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