i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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