Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
