and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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