Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
