he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
