The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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