I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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