Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
