I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
