Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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