Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
