yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
