Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
