handjob tips. give me some.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
