it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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