So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
