question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Randomize
