Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize