remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
