i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
