Small penises have feelings too.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
