I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
