FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
